Discussion Do you have a porn addiction? / Mental health check in
- Thread starter dammitchand
- Start date
I hear you. Take your time to grieve. Start again when you're ready.
I have always consumed pornography, but the situation got out of control during the pandemic. Isolated and alone in a city where I didn't know anyone, I ended up consuming more and more porn to deal with the boredom. I believe this is the reason why it is affecting my concentration and motivation, I simply cannot do anything after consuming a lot of pornography or when I am doing any intellectual work my brain is constantly thinking about pornography.
As another user commented, my addiction also seems to be accumulating, downloading gigs and gigs of pornography without even consuming it and ending up looking for hentai on nhentai.
As another user commented, my addiction also seems to be accumulating, downloading gigs and gigs of pornography without even consuming it and ending up looking for hentai on nhentai.
I strongly believe that shame for watching porn and jacking off is more damaging than porn itself. We are not robots, we are wired to need and seek intimacy. Being lonely in today's time is a challenge, social media keps selling the idea that everyone is happy and content except well, you. Then you watch porn and hate yourself even more. Rinse and repeat.
From a clinical standpoint it's not an addiction unless it's interfering without you daily life. Watching porn before working and being late, watching porn at work, public transport, just not being able to stop until you completely exhausted. This is not my opinion, but sex therapist I went to before.
Now it doesn't mean porn can't be damaging even if you are not actually addicted. So limiting it is good idea. Something a bit weird that helped me out way more than forced nofap where I would feel horrible and just horny af all the time going crazy is doing it only every second day. So if you fap today, you don't fap tomorrow, but you should fap the next day. If you libido is not that high, then make two days off. Doing this for few months gave me way more control and understanding over this than multiple attempts at nofap. It builds discipline everyday, but also makes you more conscious of what you body and mind wants. I started noticing that before I would fap often even if i did not really want it. On the days I was "allowed" to I would often not really want, like the fact of seeming it as something "bad" and "forbidden" makes us want it more.
Taking away my own negativity actually made porn less appealing, I find myself thinking and wanting real women more. A relationship where before it was not the case at all. Now of course my case might be different but anytime I heard someone "quit" porn was someone deeply ashamed of their needs or someone that already wasn't that much into it, in a relationship where they can get the intimacy. That's not how it is for many of us.
So anyhow, try hard moderation approach instead of quitting. That's my five cents.
From a clinical standpoint it's not an addiction unless it's interfering without you daily life. Watching porn before working and being late, watching porn at work, public transport, just not being able to stop until you completely exhausted. This is not my opinion, but sex therapist I went to before.
Now it doesn't mean porn can't be damaging even if you are not actually addicted. So limiting it is good idea. Something a bit weird that helped me out way more than forced nofap where I would feel horrible and just horny af all the time going crazy is doing it only every second day. So if you fap today, you don't fap tomorrow, but you should fap the next day. If you libido is not that high, then make two days off. Doing this for few months gave me way more control and understanding over this than multiple attempts at nofap. It builds discipline everyday, but also makes you more conscious of what you body and mind wants. I started noticing that before I would fap often even if i did not really want it. On the days I was "allowed" to I would often not really want, like the fact of seeming it as something "bad" and "forbidden" makes us want it more.
Taking away my own negativity actually made porn less appealing, I find myself thinking and wanting real women more. A relationship where before it was not the case at all. Now of course my case might be different but anytime I heard someone "quit" porn was someone deeply ashamed of their needs or someone that already wasn't that much into it, in a relationship where they can get the intimacy. That's not how it is for many of us.
So anyhow, try hard moderation approach instead of quitting. That's my five cents.
I always consumed some sort of adult content. Was accidentally exposed to playboy mags fairly young. Made a lasting impression in my brain.
Showcase after dark ended up feeding that need for sometime.
Finding a family memerbers porno stash was literally pouring gasoline onto a fire for me.
Next thing you know your on unsupervised internet time with your friends and you end looking at adult content on random websites, girls gone wild, Ect. And your doing this every weekend.
Fastforward years later. Tube sites are a thing. Thrist traps on insta and tiktok. Onlyfans. shits at your fingertips, you can get it whenever you want.
The last decade it's been really Off and on for me. Sometimes I watch it to get off. Sometimes I watch it for entertainment or simply out of boredom. Some days I'll lose a few hours looking for that "perfect" video. Other days I open porn and I'm like "wtf am I doing, go to the fuckin gym."
Honestly just wish I could stop cold turkey
Showcase after dark ended up feeding that need for sometime.
Finding a family memerbers porno stash was literally pouring gasoline onto a fire for me.
Next thing you know your on unsupervised internet time with your friends and you end looking at adult content on random websites, girls gone wild, Ect. And your doing this every weekend.
Fastforward years later. Tube sites are a thing. Thrist traps on insta and tiktok. Onlyfans. shits at your fingertips, you can get it whenever you want.
The last decade it's been really Off and on for me. Sometimes I watch it to get off. Sometimes I watch it for entertainment or simply out of boredom. Some days I'll lose a few hours looking for that "perfect" video. Other days I open porn and I'm like "wtf am I doing, go to the fuckin gym."
Honestly just wish I could stop cold turkey
I absolutely have a porn addiction. Been single for a very very long time so it fills the void. I've come to terms with not being a desirable person in my current lifestyle choices and appearance. I still try to find someone to have a relationship with but that hasn't been working out. I know it's not healthy but porn fills the void in my life. YES the addiction has lead to some embarrassing side effects that i hope one day i can overcome if i find someone and start a relationship.
100% Discovered porn and masturbation at a young age and have never been able to stop. I lack a refractory period so I will sometimes just sit for hours jerking off having orgasm after orgasm. Been in a happy relationship for the last 9 years as well, so for any single guys out there the struggle will probably continue once you get a partner. Similar to a lot of you I have a pretty massive collection of downloaded porn, most of which I don't even bother going back to. I think that specific part of it is more of a data hoarding addiction which would maybe explain why it's so difficult to just delete the stuff I don't even look at let alone my whole collection.
Watching porn has always been enjoyable... My biggest chance is that I can convince my wife to do this. We take our own videos and photos at home. Even though no one knows, it feels like I'm living with a porn star.
I took copium for a long time but yeah, I know way too much models, fetishes and websites for someone not addicted to porn.
It got worse when I’ve started throwing money at some models on OnlyFans and Fansly. Instead of saving of money for a house or a trip or whatever, it went all the way in my addiction.
It got worse when I’ve started throwing money at some models on OnlyFans and Fansly. Instead of saving of money for a house or a trip or whatever, it went all the way in my addiction.
Hello, everyone. And yes, I DO feel like I have a porn addiction.
I was also exposed to pretty young. There was skinemax, Playboy, plus internet porn was starting to rise. This also coincided with me growing into a teenager, so I figured it was a natural part of growing up to be sexually curious. My first jack off came not long after.
Fast forward, to adulthood, I'm STILL doing it. But I don't find myself enjoying it as much anymore. It's just become routine now.
That being said, I find myself thinking about those women a lot. Maybe even a little too much. The things I want to do to them, the things I want to say to them. This is where social media doesn't help. All of the women appear easily available. Ready and willing at all times. I've come to ONLY see them as sex objects.
I feel as if my unhealthy view of women may have ruined women for me altogether. Or maybe I'M the one that's ruined because all I want now is sex without the relationship. I see myself as a monster for feeling this way because this is not how I was raised (which ironically, was mostly by women). It often leaves me feeling embarrassed and ashamed.
I was also exposed to pretty young. There was skinemax, Playboy, plus internet porn was starting to rise. This also coincided with me growing into a teenager, so I figured it was a natural part of growing up to be sexually curious. My first jack off came not long after.
Fast forward, to adulthood, I'm STILL doing it. But I don't find myself enjoying it as much anymore. It's just become routine now.
That being said, I find myself thinking about those women a lot. Maybe even a little too much. The things I want to do to them, the things I want to say to them. This is where social media doesn't help. All of the women appear easily available. Ready and willing at all times. I've come to ONLY see them as sex objects.
I feel as if my unhealthy view of women may have ruined women for me altogether. Or maybe I'M the one that's ruined because all I want now is sex without the relationship. I see myself as a monster for feeling this way because this is not how I was raised (which ironically, was mostly by women). It often leaves me feeling embarrassed and ashamed.
No. I haven't really been watching porn for a while but I noticed when my dating life takes a hit I fall back in it.
I do. And I keep coming back. Time after time trying to quit. I should not be here.
So, seeing that a lot of us have this problem.
A couple of question that i see interesting, in case anyone wants to answer them.
· How many times do you masturbate per day?
· Do you share this "hobby" with anyone?, in case yes, is it only with online people or do you know any other "degenerate" IRL?
In my case, i masturbate sometimes too much (7-10+) and i dont share it with anyone. Not sure if i'd want to. Sometimes i'd like to share my happiness when something good "drops" but i know, its best to not tell people about this, in order to not destroy my rep.
A couple of question that i see interesting, in case anyone wants to answer them.
· How many times do you masturbate per day?
· Do you share this "hobby" with anyone?, in case yes, is it only with online people or do you know any other "degenerate" IRL?
In my case, i masturbate sometimes too much (7-10+) and i dont share it with anyone. Not sure if i'd want to. Sometimes i'd like to share my happiness when something good "drops" but i know, its best to not tell people about this, in order to not destroy my rep.
7- 10 fucccck, i think 95% of the people her are adiccted to porn , i think onlyfans is the biggest problem , normal pornside were never the problem. also look every shit is full of sex , tiktok insta, youtube EVERY fucking shit
Mhmm, some very interesting posts in here and thank you all for being honest. I will share some of my own experiences and insights into what I've observed and learned over the years.
I myself was addicted to porn when I was a teenager. At 14 or 15 or whatever it was, I was jerking like 10 times a day or something. I cannot exactly remember why, but I think the dopamine hit and maybe boredom or something.
As I got older, this changed. I still watch porn and still jerk off, but not as often as before. I didn't have to do any of the nofap nonsense that seems to be elevated to some sort of religion or general explanation of success, which couldn't be farther from the truth IMHO.
I had a terrible relationship with women in general when I was younger, and luckily this has somewhat changed. I think a lot of guys go through this, simply because of feminist/blue pill programming that is spoon fed to us from a young age. And I only learned much, much later in life what it took to get women's attention.
Books like Rollo Tomassi's Rational Male series challenged my inner blue pill programming and that was the thing that really got me going in the right direction. I highly recommend watching a YouTube channel called PsycHacks, ran by Psychologist Dr. Orion Taraban who makes very good videos about topics that are related to what we're talking about.
Some of Patrice O'Neil's stuff on the Opi & Anthony show (archive on YouTube) is also very good.
I will move on to some other things that are important to mention. I noticed in my own life with my own friends and acquaintances that they would stop watching porn when they got a girlfriend that had (good) (amounts) of sex with them. I talked with some of them about really private things and I was lucky to have some honest friends that wouldn't snitch on me or tell everyone else.
It is my belief that as long as men have women in their lives that have enough, good/crazy sex with them, the guys will not cheat, nor do they watch porn.
However I know that there are plenty of couples that barely have any sex, or good sex to begin with. You should strife to not end up in one of those "coping" relationships. You need to get yourself a girl that is absolutely crazy in love with you, as the rule of thumb is, that a women will do anything to keep you as long as you are an alpha/winner in her mind.
This is where it gets interesting with this nofap horseshit, which has almost never been explained properly by anyone I have ever seen attempt to do so.
There are those who claim that abstaining and not watching porn is some sort of hidden puzzle piece to leading a happy, successful life.
In my opinion, this is absolute horseshit, with some caveats. Example: In order to be rich, you have to be greedy. Your greed will make you re-arrange everything in your life to satisfy this greedy impulse. No fap or whatever has absolutely nothing to do with this.
You have to use your sexual desire in the right way, at the right moment. The problem is that when men relief themselves off of this sexual desire with self pleasure, there is no more need to go out and get some.
All men, me included, are to some extend afraid of women and afraid of rejection (or weird framing/filming/TikTok shit nowadays), which to some extend is actually valid.
However, you shouldn't focus on all the problems and barriers that get in the way of getting what you want. That is the dumbest and least productive thing you can do.
You should instead focus on the things that you CAN do and the possibilities you DO have to make things work.
And one of the realities is, is that when you were younger, you most likely got in to trouble or beta/simping shit because of your horny mindset. I certainly did.
Now that you are older, you have a little more control over your emotions and you can actually use this horny mindset IN YOUR FAVOR!!!
Think of the fear you have of women/rejection as a mountain you're trying to climb. Under normal circumstances you can get pretty far, let's say 80% of the way. However, at the last moment, right before your ascend to the peak, fear kicks in and you become to chickenshit to ask her out or get her to suck your dick.
This is the moment where your horny mindset has to help you. Let it help you. You have to envision this horny mindset as like a wild, energetic stallion that can take you to some crazy places (and trouble, certainly it did when I was younger).
Instead of sitting on that stallion and letting IT decide where it takes you, with your addiction for example, you need to gain control over this horse and tell that thing where to take you.
You should no fap for a limited amount of time until you have built up the right amount of sexual desire inside yourself so that you become a little bit despirate or whatever you want to call it. You should really, really want to relief yourself off of this pressure, and THEN go out and talk to the chicks.
You will climb that same mountain, but this time, your horniness kicks in, that same powerfull stallion that got you in a lot of trouble when you were younger needs to be utilized. Let that thing "carry" you to and over that mountain top. Let that powerfull emotion take control for a short period of time so that you can ask her out/ask for her number/whatever. Let that emotion overcome your fears and it will happen. I promise you. You will have done it and you will sense a kind of euphoria if you will, regardless if she rejected your offer or not. That exitement is you overcoming your fears. The more you do it, the better you become at it, and the more the realize you don't have to be so scared of women. Most women are more afraid of you then vice versa, on top of that, most of them forget about rejecting you 10 minutes later.
It is *you* that carries that haunting memory for 10 YEARS later, eventhough she forgot about it 10 MINUTES later.
Forgive yourself for watching porn, as sex is completely natural for men. You don't have a GF/Wife or good sex, so you're just trying to deal with something that you have inherited through evolution. You cannot take or shove that away, you have to learn to live with it and make the best of it. It can actually be very useful under the right circumstances. Do not ever feel ashamed for being a man or for desiring sex, no matter how much the blue pillers/feminists will try to make you feel like shit. I am very sure a lot of men would love to just have a button to "turn it off" and not think about sex, but it is the way it is.
You are much, much more valuable then the world around you makes you belief, that is what I have learned over the last couple years. Everyone is shitposting on social media how "great" their lives are, while constantly trying to put and keep people down.
You have so much potential and so much to give to this world, do not give these idiots the pleasure of taking that away from you.
Do not ever feel ashamed for seeking (professional) help, as some issues are to big to solve in one go. A race is not won by making one giant step, but by taking multiple steps, one step at a time.
Take care and may you all find happyness in life.
I myself was addicted to porn when I was a teenager. At 14 or 15 or whatever it was, I was jerking like 10 times a day or something. I cannot exactly remember why, but I think the dopamine hit and maybe boredom or something.
As I got older, this changed. I still watch porn and still jerk off, but not as often as before. I didn't have to do any of the nofap nonsense that seems to be elevated to some sort of religion or general explanation of success, which couldn't be farther from the truth IMHO.
I had a terrible relationship with women in general when I was younger, and luckily this has somewhat changed. I think a lot of guys go through this, simply because of feminist/blue pill programming that is spoon fed to us from a young age. And I only learned much, much later in life what it took to get women's attention.
Books like Rollo Tomassi's Rational Male series challenged my inner blue pill programming and that was the thing that really got me going in the right direction. I highly recommend watching a YouTube channel called PsycHacks, ran by Psychologist Dr. Orion Taraban who makes very good videos about topics that are related to what we're talking about.
Some of Patrice O'Neil's stuff on the Opi & Anthony show (archive on YouTube) is also very good.
I will move on to some other things that are important to mention. I noticed in my own life with my own friends and acquaintances that they would stop watching porn when they got a girlfriend that had (good) (amounts) of sex with them. I talked with some of them about really private things and I was lucky to have some honest friends that wouldn't snitch on me or tell everyone else.
It is my belief that as long as men have women in their lives that have enough, good/crazy sex with them, the guys will not cheat, nor do they watch porn.
However I know that there are plenty of couples that barely have any sex, or good sex to begin with. You should strife to not end up in one of those "coping" relationships. You need to get yourself a girl that is absolutely crazy in love with you, as the rule of thumb is, that a women will do anything to keep you as long as you are an alpha/winner in her mind.
This is where it gets interesting with this nofap horseshit, which has almost never been explained properly by anyone I have ever seen attempt to do so.
There are those who claim that abstaining and not watching porn is some sort of hidden puzzle piece to leading a happy, successful life.
In my opinion, this is absolute horseshit, with some caveats. Example: In order to be rich, you have to be greedy. Your greed will make you re-arrange everything in your life to satisfy this greedy impulse. No fap or whatever has absolutely nothing to do with this.
You have to use your sexual desire in the right way, at the right moment. The problem is that when men relief themselves off of this sexual desire with self pleasure, there is no more need to go out and get some.
All men, me included, are to some extend afraid of women and afraid of rejection (or weird framing/filming/TikTok shit nowadays), which to some extend is actually valid.
However, you shouldn't focus on all the problems and barriers that get in the way of getting what you want. That is the dumbest and least productive thing you can do.
You should instead focus on the things that you CAN do and the possibilities you DO have to make things work.
And one of the realities is, is that when you were younger, you most likely got in to trouble or beta/simping shit because of your horny mindset. I certainly did.
Now that you are older, you have a little more control over your emotions and you can actually use this horny mindset IN YOUR FAVOR!!!
Think of the fear you have of women/rejection as a mountain you're trying to climb. Under normal circumstances you can get pretty far, let's say 80% of the way. However, at the last moment, right before your ascend to the peak, fear kicks in and you become to chickenshit to ask her out or get her to suck your dick.
This is the moment where your horny mindset has to help you. Let it help you. You have to envision this horny mindset as like a wild, energetic stallion that can take you to some crazy places (and trouble, certainly it did when I was younger).
Instead of sitting on that stallion and letting IT decide where it takes you, with your addiction for example, you need to gain control over this horse and tell that thing where to take you.
You should no fap for a limited amount of time until you have built up the right amount of sexual desire inside yourself so that you become a little bit despirate or whatever you want to call it. You should really, really want to relief yourself off of this pressure, and THEN go out and talk to the chicks.
You will climb that same mountain, but this time, your horniness kicks in, that same powerfull stallion that got you in a lot of trouble when you were younger needs to be utilized. Let that thing "carry" you to and over that mountain top. Let that powerfull emotion take control for a short period of time so that you can ask her out/ask for her number/whatever. Let that emotion overcome your fears and it will happen. I promise you. You will have done it and you will sense a kind of euphoria if you will, regardless if she rejected your offer or not. That exitement is you overcoming your fears. The more you do it, the better you become at it, and the more the realize you don't have to be so scared of women. Most women are more afraid of you then vice versa, on top of that, most of them forget about rejecting you 10 minutes later.
It is *you* that carries that haunting memory for 10 YEARS later, eventhough she forgot about it 10 MINUTES later.
Forgive yourself for watching porn, as sex is completely natural for men. You don't have a GF/Wife or good sex, so you're just trying to deal with something that you have inherited through evolution. You cannot take or shove that away, you have to learn to live with it and make the best of it. It can actually be very useful under the right circumstances. Do not ever feel ashamed for being a man or for desiring sex, no matter how much the blue pillers/feminists will try to make you feel like shit. I am very sure a lot of men would love to just have a button to "turn it off" and not think about sex, but it is the way it is.
You are much, much more valuable then the world around you makes you belief, that is what I have learned over the last couple years. Everyone is shitposting on social media how "great" their lives are, while constantly trying to put and keep people down.
You have so much potential and so much to give to this world, do not give these idiots the pleasure of taking that away from you.
Do not ever feel ashamed for seeking (professional) help, as some issues are to big to solve in one go. A race is not won by making one giant step, but by taking multiple steps, one step at a time.
Take care and may you all find happyness in life.
The same story for me. I get too stressed out with life and work and I come back to porn.
I think alot of this addiction is roots from boredom and the need for quick dopamine
Alot of addictions roots from boredom & quick dopamine hits
Drugs, Alcohol, Gambling, Porn, Sex & so much more
But keeping the addictions controlled is easier said than done
I often wonder if life struggles weren't so struggling, Would most of us use porn as a stress relief
The issue with porn is its so quick and easy to access. Unlike other vises like drugs and alcohol. You often need to go out of your way to acquire and consume.
Porn just give you a hit whenever
By masturbation number I mean masturbating to orgasm. In this case once a day. But sometimes I can even once every 3-4 days. In the past I used to set a goal of once a week.
2) No, never had any interest in sharing my masturbations with other people.
I don't know about you but I don't masturbate after working, because for me it means going straight to sleep.
