Discussion Do you have a porn addiction? / Mental health check in
- Thread starter dammitchand
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I legit do not think jerking off to porn is good, that being said, I still have some saved in my computer and watch them occasionally, I am working on fully dropping porn eventually tho.
You should not jerk off daily, at all, and when you do, you should use imagination, some ASMR audio, or at worst, softcore-vid, instagram/softcore pictures of a girl you like.
Jerking off to porn is a super-stimulus that will fry your dopamine levels, can lead you into a rabbithole of always searching for something more nasty, and is essentially virtual-cuckoldry, you are still watching another dick, another man fuck a woman you wish you were fucking.
Besides that, porn can also easily warp your views on relationships, sex and love, so always remember: You are watching whores fuck/perform for money.
Those faces, positions and things they say is for money, there is no love, or any romantic feeling involved.
And if you call me a prude, I will tell you I have been jerking off since I was 15, daily unless I had a girlfriend, multiple times at a day too sometimes, but since semptember of last year, somethings happened making me reflect and get insight on how porn was ruining my life and my cognitive.
I won't be preachy anymore, as every person deserves to make their own mistakes, but theres a reason why so many men, even successful ones, like Kanye, Louis CK, Chris Rock, Terry Crews... succumb to porn addiction. This shit is poison for your mind.
Porn is too easily accessible. Too easily comsumable. Too stimulating in the wrong ways. Is literal crack for men's cognitve.
You consume porn to fulfill some needs but it just makes you hungrier feeling more empty afterwards, is like drinking salt-water to kill your thrist, insanity.
You should not jerk off daily, at all, and when you do, you should use imagination, some ASMR audio, or at worst, softcore-vid, instagram/softcore pictures of a girl you like.
Jerking off to porn is a super-stimulus that will fry your dopamine levels, can lead you into a rabbithole of always searching for something more nasty, and is essentially virtual-cuckoldry, you are still watching another dick, another man fuck a woman you wish you were fucking.
Besides that, porn can also easily warp your views on relationships, sex and love, so always remember: You are watching whores fuck/perform for money.
Those faces, positions and things they say is for money, there is no love, or any romantic feeling involved.
And if you call me a prude, I will tell you I have been jerking off since I was 15, daily unless I had a girlfriend, multiple times at a day too sometimes, but since semptember of last year, somethings happened making me reflect and get insight on how porn was ruining my life and my cognitive.
I won't be preachy anymore, as every person deserves to make their own mistakes, but theres a reason why so many men, even successful ones, like Kanye, Louis CK, Chris Rock, Terry Crews... succumb to porn addiction. This shit is poison for your mind.
Porn is too easily accessible. Too easily comsumable. Too stimulating in the wrong ways. Is literal crack for men's cognitve.
You consume porn to fulfill some needs but it just makes you hungrier feeling more empty afterwards, is like drinking salt-water to kill your thrist, insanity.
Everyone here is, therapy is a good way to keep in check.
Mind you, I do therapy as well but I keep going back. Thankfully Im not addicted to some weird kinky stuff (not gonna shame but I just like to see girls naked).
If you are into some weird fetiches, well... I'd recommend checking stuff out.
Mind you, I do therapy as well but I keep going back. Thankfully Im not addicted to some weird kinky stuff (not gonna shame but I just like to see girls naked).
If you are into some weird fetiches, well... I'd recommend checking stuff out.
I just shedded my onedrive collection going from 700+ GB to a smidge under 500GB, lots of soul searching and realization that a lot of these creators aren't people that I would even want to spend a minute with IRL at all. Maybe one day I'll clear the whole thing out an move on.
It's weird in a way because I personally have a policy going into doing "hauls" from bunkr or threads here, that is if there's a lot of B/G content I just look and move away, never really liked B/G because I had an epiphany of sorts few years ago about how weird it is to just watch a guy fuck a girl but not actually have the headspace to transpose oneself as the dude. Furthermore, I never liked professional or actual studio XXX stuff because it's feels artificial and doesn't interest me that much at all. Not to judge anyone that do like these though, just stating my preferences.
So that leaves my stash to be a hoard of OF/Tiktok/Reddit/Instagram girls with nudes, solo content or lesbian stuff here and there. There's just an urge that goes to the tune of if I don't keep this content, it could be taken down or just deleted (looking at you GoFile)
Ngl I had spent my teenage years on nsfw subreddits, so I guess my preferences had entrenched itself to be for the "girl next door's" nudes or more amateur-ish content rather than the corporate vibes of studio XXX.
I don't really know if this is considered as porn addiction (however denying such would seem to be copium) but it seems like I am pretty grounded in terms of what arouses me, nothing turns me on more than just being with a girl that I actually have an emotional connection to (especially that one ex that went away). But of course, that seems a bit hard to come by these days especially in this post-covid era for me (not to mention the barrage of shit that had occurred in my life). So after long, difficult days I just spend indulging in the stash I have.
Furthermore, conversations about vices do come up with people around me and it seems like I am all clean bar one - I jerk off almost everyday and the times I don't is the exception, rather than the norm. But this is something I don't really tell anyone so I end up appearing as straight edge in a sea of acquaintances with varying vices, because it seems like sex/porn addiction is never really talked about in "normal" circles I guess. (Plus I reside in a semi-conservative place)
Not to reveal too much but being on this forum really does feel like acting on an alter ego, I think at least I am a functional member of society with a stable job in which I actually excel at as well as a few hobbies that I nerd out on, in other words rather on the surface I might be....normal? (-ish?)
This feels like a "Sir, this is a Wendy's" sort of wall of text but glad this thread exists, hope what I say here fits the spirit of the thread itself.
It's weird in a way because I personally have a policy going into doing "hauls" from bunkr or threads here, that is if there's a lot of B/G content I just look and move away, never really liked B/G because I had an epiphany of sorts few years ago about how weird it is to just watch a guy fuck a girl but not actually have the headspace to transpose oneself as the dude. Furthermore, I never liked professional or actual studio XXX stuff because it's feels artificial and doesn't interest me that much at all. Not to judge anyone that do like these though, just stating my preferences.
So that leaves my stash to be a hoard of OF/Tiktok/Reddit/Instagram girls with nudes, solo content or lesbian stuff here and there. There's just an urge that goes to the tune of if I don't keep this content, it could be taken down or just deleted (looking at you GoFile)
Ngl I had spent my teenage years on nsfw subreddits, so I guess my preferences had entrenched itself to be for the "girl next door's" nudes or more amateur-ish content rather than the corporate vibes of studio XXX.
I don't really know if this is considered as porn addiction (however denying such would seem to be copium) but it seems like I am pretty grounded in terms of what arouses me, nothing turns me on more than just being with a girl that I actually have an emotional connection to (especially that one ex that went away). But of course, that seems a bit hard to come by these days especially in this post-covid era for me (not to mention the barrage of shit that had occurred in my life). So after long, difficult days I just spend indulging in the stash I have.
Furthermore, conversations about vices do come up with people around me and it seems like I am all clean bar one - I jerk off almost everyday and the times I don't is the exception, rather than the norm. But this is something I don't really tell anyone so I end up appearing as straight edge in a sea of acquaintances with varying vices, because it seems like sex/porn addiction is never really talked about in "normal" circles I guess. (Plus I reside in a semi-conservative place)
Not to reveal too much but being on this forum really does feel like acting on an alter ego, I think at least I am a functional member of society with a stable job in which I actually excel at as well as a few hobbies that I nerd out on, in other words rather on the surface I might be....normal? (-ish?)
This feels like a "Sir, this is a Wendy's" sort of wall of text but glad this thread exists, hope what I say here fits the spirit of the thread itself.
Also this video is pretty good, only 10min long so check it out if you can, I'm sure you will extract some value outta it.
Just trimmed my "watched" list by a few pages. Baby steps.
If you live in an area where there's a decent number of people, there are support groups for sex addiction. If you don't, there are also phone/zoom meetings. Just an option for anyone looking for help. You can visit SAA dot org.....
for me, porn is just a way of attending my primal instinct, this happens every 3 or 4 days minimum when i get horny. Also *when* i get horny is a good measure of how lazy/productive and focused i am in that moment, when i occupy myself there is no horniness possible until many days without ejaculating, this varies from men to men, but i think this is a good way of viewing it.
About this, i agree that is generally easier, but one makes it easier, is the famous 20 second rule. I have relatives which make it easier to access their favorite physical drugs, and you can certainly make it harder to access porn by many means. Also the price is a big factor, porn can be free and it is data, with virtually not copiable cost. physical drugs always carry an intrinsic cost by the medium, there is no way around it.
I've been consistently masturbating (until finishing) at least 1-2 times a day for over a decade now, always to porn. The only times I've skipped is when I was sick. Part of me has always felt like 1-2 a day was a lot, but if I don't get my "fix" I'll be extremely distracted for the whole day. Not sure if all of this makes me an addict.
I'm no mental health specialist but this is compulsive/obsessive masturbation. Not a healthy thing to be doing. Especially if you have difficulty getting things done without first masturbating. This still would cross into potential "addiction" but I think something else is going on.
If this is really effecting your life in a negative way I would highly suggest seeing professional opinion.
I studied psychology and a tip that might help some people, is to try to recognize if the only time you experience "joy" it's when you masturbate, you might be experiencing anhedonia (inability to experience pleasure) which might be a symptom of depression. Also it could be a way to deal with anxiety, which could also be a sympton of an anxiety disorder.
In any case, the same as with a medical check, a visit to a mental expert could help. (and honestly, there's no shame in having a problem.)
In any case, the same as with a medical check, a visit to a mental expert could help. (and honestly, there's no shame in having a problem.)
I know that method, may work for some, is not universal.
talking about quitting and all this guides, i tried sperm retention in the past following that method an other, but the blue balls were too big of a problem an that would not go away, to the point that i went to specialized medics thinking i was having some kind of infection or torn testicles, they told me to masturbate.
So yeah, funnily enough, not masturbating definetly can become a problem if you are not sexually active.
same here, that seems to be a good ratio, problems for me started after 10 days or 15 days without.
Yes, I've been addicted for years and I've gone through the cycle of building up and then purging my porn collection for longer than I care to think about. That being said, I've made a lot of progress in recent months and what made the biggest difference for me was realizing that while a pornography addiction is not a positive thing and pornography (especially of the hardcore video variety) is incredibly overstimulating and damaging to one's brain, there's nothing wrong with or shameful about the simple desires for sex and intimacy-- they're part of what makes us human, and those desires are ultimately the foundation of my continued use of pornography. Once I realized that, it became so much easier to not indulge in porn as much as I used to. I think where a lot of porn/masturbation abstinence strategies fail is that they seem to inadvertently pathologize sexuality and this might be because some of the advocates have long-standing porn addictions that have led them into extreme sexual interests and/or self-destructive porn collection/consumption habits, and as a result they have the standard extremist mentality of wanting to throw the baby out with the bathwater and go all-in in the other direction. I know because as a guy who has been a multi-tab edger and obsessive porn collector, I've done it myself and on multiple occasions have pledged some kind of celibacy only to fail over and over again.
To me-- and this may sound extremely trite and obvious but I'll say it anyway-- sexuality isn't the problem, our current behaviors towards it are, and our behaviors are learned. To want to have sex, orgasm, and feel the warmth of another person is a perfectly natural thing. Obsessing over chicks on the Internet we'll probably never meet, hoarding pics and videos, and engaging in edging marathons, not so much. I don't think there's an instant or perfect cure for anyone's pornography problem, but I do believe that once we realize the true difference and start attacking the real enemy inside us, our situation can become so much easier to deal with than it once was.
I realize it's incredibly ironic for me to say this on this forum of all places and yeah, I'm still a user and probably always be on some level, but my self-hatred and crazy collector days are over and hey man, I like ass. Can't blame me for that, right?
To me-- and this may sound extremely trite and obvious but I'll say it anyway-- sexuality isn't the problem, our current behaviors towards it are, and our behaviors are learned. To want to have sex, orgasm, and feel the warmth of another person is a perfectly natural thing. Obsessing over chicks on the Internet we'll probably never meet, hoarding pics and videos, and engaging in edging marathons, not so much. I don't think there's an instant or perfect cure for anyone's pornography problem, but I do believe that once we realize the true difference and start attacking the real enemy inside us, our situation can become so much easier to deal with than it once was.
I realize it's incredibly ironic for me to say this on this forum of all places and yeah, I'm still a user and probably always be on some level, but my self-hatred and crazy collector days are over and hey man, I like ass. Can't blame me for that, right?
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Could it be a combination of feeling unworthy of love after trying countless times, feeling average-looking, wishing i had a stronger jawline or just better face genetics to get women like this? Maybe its some belief that when im married, the best fulfilling married sex is with someone that is my type or I'm actually sexually attracted to them to a level where my dopamine receptors at orgasm get absolutely shot like a hit of cocaine. I don't know if thats a healthy expectation, I think we deserve better than just a nut with someone that falls within our fantasy type. Theres so many other important areas of life we have to face. Woman want a man that desires them, but doesn't need them for sex. Desperation is unattractive. I'm a pastors kid, but was bullied for being skinny, average looking (but i felt more unattractive than just average), I wanted someone more attractive than me i guess. I put on muscle now, got big biceps, weigh 200 lbs at 28, but i realize i cant change my face and how it looks. I guess i could mew and diet to get more shredded but we will see. I'm just discouraged by christian women that I've tried to pursue and it just doesn't go well. Objectively i have a 6/10 mid-average jawline chad w/ a baby face....i pursue girls that are in the 7-8/10 range and have gotten rejected multiple times due to them not knowing what they want.
Porn seems to be something I go to when i've "given up on finding my future wife" its almost like an attitude or depressed heart posture when I'm just not ready to fight for it again. I have to snap out of it and believe I'm a high value man. We all are because God says were "fearfully and wonderfully made" don't fall for that andrew tate garbage saying you have to reach 6 figures or get free of all mental issues or get a level of discipline where you somehow eradicate laziness out of your life. Give yourself grace. You deserve better. I need to give up this website... but i am single and my sex drive is a level that is insane. I know it will be a blessing to my future wife tho, I just need to be willing to settle with the fact that I may never find a girl that looks like the onlyfans girls we have fantasies with, and find in real life to marry. Maybe theres something better than just digital nudity that we compare to real women with real hearts that deserve a man that has eyes only for her, and gives her the best sex in the world.
Porn seems to be something I go to when i've "given up on finding my future wife" its almost like an attitude or depressed heart posture when I'm just not ready to fight for it again. I have to snap out of it and believe I'm a high value man. We all are because God says were "fearfully and wonderfully made" don't fall for that andrew tate garbage saying you have to reach 6 figures or get free of all mental issues or get a level of discipline where you somehow eradicate laziness out of your life. Give yourself grace. You deserve better. I need to give up this website... but i am single and my sex drive is a level that is insane. I know it will be a blessing to my future wife tho, I just need to be willing to settle with the fact that I may never find a girl that looks like the onlyfans girls we have fantasies with, and find in real life to marry. Maybe theres something better than just digital nudity that we compare to real women with real hearts that deserve a man that has eyes only for her, and gives her the best sex in the world.
If I give a thought to it. I guess I am addicted to it. I suppose I use it more as a method to cope with my personal issues and my real life problems.
I was diagnosed with an anxiety problem around 4 years back. Have had a complicated relationship with my parents. And since college life just seems to have taken a turn for the worse.
I admit I was introduced to porn at a young age but I managed to go 3 years clean without any fuss, admittedly things weren't so bad then. If anything they were on the up then.
But now, I'm 23, without a job since finishing college, probable anxiety problem, rejected by so many companies I can't remember the number, too burnt out to study more, the most mid looking man if there ever was one, socially anxious. I've just sort of given up. Nothing will get better.
I suppose I go to porn to just cope with all this, just to feel that maybe someone will give two hoots about me (the porn I mostly watch is intimate, romantic pov stuff and mommy stuff). I have tried to quit, seeing how others described how things got better when they quit makes me think maybe it will for me. But the thoughts which I get scare the shit out of me so I go back.
I'm just tired of trying to make everything better, make it right. No matter what I do, no matter how diligently I try. Fate just gives me the finger for everything I do
I was diagnosed with an anxiety problem around 4 years back. Have had a complicated relationship with my parents. And since college life just seems to have taken a turn for the worse.
I admit I was introduced to porn at a young age but I managed to go 3 years clean without any fuss, admittedly things weren't so bad then. If anything they were on the up then.
But now, I'm 23, without a job since finishing college, probable anxiety problem, rejected by so many companies I can't remember the number, too burnt out to study more, the most mid looking man if there ever was one, socially anxious. I've just sort of given up. Nothing will get better.
I suppose I go to porn to just cope with all this, just to feel that maybe someone will give two hoots about me (the porn I mostly watch is intimate, romantic pov stuff and mommy stuff). I have tried to quit, seeing how others described how things got better when they quit makes me think maybe it will for me. But the thoughts which I get scare the shit out of me so I go back.
I'm just tired of trying to make everything better, make it right. No matter what I do, no matter how diligently I try. Fate just gives me the finger for everything I do
I suppose we could say that for any addictions whether that be alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex & so on
Is porn a coping mechanism for real life problems?
To a extent, Yes, But can cause real life long problems if other problems don't resolve themselves
Myself, I use porn as a stress relief from work, life problems, Do i feel better? For a brief few mins, Then i think to myself, Could i have done something else to deal with whatever is happening
Porn is addictive if we let it, Same goes with any addictions
I guess porn is addictive because we can always search for more without it being boring
Do i wish porn was less addictive? Yes & No
Porn is like alcohol, Amazing in small doses, But take too much of it & you feel shit
So the question is, Do we wanna feel just enough buzz to feel good or be totally buzzed from it that we feel guilty about it
The choice is ours to make
Stay strong bro